I Hate Pants.


Don’t get me wrong. Not all the time. Not every day. Well, usually at SOME point every day, I hate them…

Okay, maybe I should clarify that a little.Β  Maybe you fell behind and are raising your hand. By “pants”, I mean jeans or slacks. Pajama pants, yoga pants, leggings and long johns don’t fall under the Pants Category for me, because I wouldn’t wear them in public unless I were on my way to a sleepover or yoga.

Please don’t think I am saying ,”I don’t want YOU to wear pants”. I do. Please please please wear pants! I am not advocating public nudity…that’s just too awkward. Besides, this is northern MN. It could be -40 F any minute. Pants save lives!!Β Hell, I wear them every time I leave the house from November to at least May.

But they hurt.

Technically, my lower back, knees and hips hurt. Not just the joints; the other connective tissue (i.e.: tendons, muscles, bursae, etc.) hurts too, and pants just seem to make it worse.

pants

Also, I inject myself twice a week in the stomach with a mild chemo-type drug that kills the white cells that are trying to kill me. The injection itself doesn’t hurt much-far less than the arthritis- but sometimes the injection site is itchy. Which adds to the allure of pantlessness. When I first started this medicine years ago, I had the common side-effect of injection site reactions (ISR) which were still no biggie compared to the arthritis but made me feel like this:

Ferocious Beast

Maggie’s Ferocious Beast (photo credit: Tumblr)

But it’s ok. I don’t want this post to be a downer. Because I can (and do) wear pants for several hours a day. Most days, that is. I just feel the need to explain what I mean when I say, “I’m not wearing pants.” Or, “Today is NOT a pants day”. Or Lois says, “Laura isn’t here [at The Barn] today because she isn’t feeling so hot.” And you thought this post was gonna be about sex!! HA!

24 responses to this post.

  1. I am glad you have the strength to take a stand on something as important as…uhhhh pants.

    • Between that and my campaign to be Employee of the Year, I’m a busy woman. πŸ™‚ Thanks for stopping by–I’m checking out your artpouring now.

      • Uh oh… I usually do funny pictures of superheros and mustaches and cute babies and stuff… but I just did two posts that are sort of… weird even for me… so be careful… maybe go back to Willy week…

        • You need help.

          • If you think it’s bad now, you should have met me before I had a blog and all this stuff was just trapped in my head… There are original love songs at the top of the page, and a funny sci-fi novel… and lots of funny stuff… you just caught me at a bad time…

            • Right?? I feel the same way. Now that I have high-speed and a blog, I. Could do. Anything!! You are funny stuff–just messin with ya. πŸ™‚

              • I have a computer that is dying and I am a computer moron… But I live to make you laugh.

                • Mission: Accomplished. πŸ˜€

                  • The thing about my blog is you just have to scroll through until you see stuff that makes you go… what the????… and then stop and read. There is something for everyone. Near death experiences that are still funny, making fun of Dick Cheney by turning him into weird stuff like Fred Flinstone or a sausage…pictures of my kids, stories of my like, and lots of scans and pictures of my original art.

  2. I hate pants, too! I tried to decide if I had anything substantial or worthwhile to say before commenting, and didn’t come up with anything besides agreement– but I really do hate pants as well, and needed to at least say that, ha! πŸ™‚

    • Bahahahahaha! Thank you for your support, rarasaur!! Love reading your posts, and have the same problem-so thanks for letting me know you’re there and in agreement. πŸ˜€

  3. Posted by Anonymous on December 6, 2012 at 9:49 pm

    Well girl I’m thinking of u!! I personally hate clothes in general & think they are over rated!! I’d go naked if possible πŸ™‚ Just think I’d have the beach & streets to myself…cuz everyone would be scared to b around me!!

  4. Posted by Leon Engelun on December 6, 2012 at 11:19 pm

    Just me cuz,,,,,,, I love to wear cut offs in the summer, not winter. Too damn cold in the winter. I feel for you cuz, as you I share the similar symptoms. I have the promise to adhere to tho. I promised my kids that I would never wear cut offs or a swim trunks in public due to my chicken legs. I refuse to wear a dress, so I am doomed to wear pants most of the time.

  5. Posted by Kelly on December 7, 2012 at 11:03 am

    The best part of my day…. comng home and getting out of office dress clothes and into big baggy, soft sweats or pajama pants. Empty nest is nice that way!

    • LOL I can’t tell you how many times the girls walked into my room and then backed out covering their eyes and yelling, “PANTS!! For chrissake mom!!” (I don’t have a door, fml). Now they know to yell, “Pants?” before rounding the corner.

  6. Ladies and gentleman this is the woman who raised me. Huzzah

  7. I hate pants too, cuz they are not usually comfortable, in any shape or form, but especially if they are the jean form. That is why I frequently wear skirts. A few years back, I especially hated jeans because my umbilical area had scar tissue from a hernia repair, and after it was removed I kicked myself for going so many years without having it fixed (is it physically possible to kick yourself?) Anyway, I also hate pants because you can never, ever find a pair that actually hits your waist line at the right spot, no matter what they say on the advertisement!!!

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